GIANTmicrobes MMA

Loyal GIANTmicrobes lovers! Brace yourselves for the world's first GIANT microbes MMA fight featuring the furious 7; Stomach Ache, Cough, Bad Breath, the Common Cold, the Flu, Sore Throat, and Kissing Disease. Place your bets because there's not telling who's going to win this fierce competition.

WARNING! Do not try this at home. GIANTmicrobes are highly specialized specimen. They have been trained for thousands of years and are forces to be re-coned with.

How to Tell Someone They Have Bad Breath

For some very interesting reason we are uncomfortable telling someone that their breath stinks. Bad breath (poopy stinky) is generally caused by the Porphyromonas Gingivalis bacteria, which looks like the little critter you see here. I’ve asked myself and others why it is that we can’t just flat out say “hey your breath is kinda stinky”. The general response was that most people don’t want to cause embarrassment to the stinky breathed person. Ok, this is a pretty valid reason, but what can be done to convey that poop breath is NOT good.

Total Avoidance: Dodge their breath path every time they speak…they may get the hint.

Indirect Directness: Offer them a piece of gum or breath mint. If they refuse just make it very clear that “yes, you really should take one.”

Passive Aggressive: Leave a sticky note on their computer monitor that kind of says that their breath sticks without using the words “breath” or “stinks”.

Straight Forward Directness: Just straight up tell them. Most Americans are not comfortable with this option, more of a European approach. You can always pretend you are from England and with your fake English accent say, "did you know thar your breath is very unpleasant? Here, please do take this Orbitz gum. It'll clean it right up". Odly enough you can say things with an English accent that in an American accent would sound plain rude.

Comic Relief: Make it fun and innovative. Buy them the special “Bad Breath” (Porphyromonas gingivalis) plush toy. Hand it to them and say “you need to take care of this”.

No matter how you handle it, the topic is just one of those social farts no one wants to touch. Now that you have an arsenal of ways to get the message across, step outside of your comfort zone and try one you would never ever normally do.

Flu vs. the Common Cold

Soon we will all be sniffling and miserable as flu season comes around. Some people think that a cold and the flu are one in the same. Not true...here is what they look like and there is a noticeable difference. Either way these GIANT microbes will keep you company when your in bed feeling misserable.


The Flu the Common Cold

Learn more about these addorably dreadful diseases at the GIANTmicrobes® at the official website.

5 Reasons You Need a Disease

Diseases aren't always a bad thing to get. Here are five reasons why it's a good idea to give and share a good dose of syphilis.

1. It’s a great discussion starter – There’s nothing like breaking the ice with a vivid image of herpes sitting on your sofa.
2. It makes people laugh – Yes, it does to the point of no return.
3. It speaks for you – If you’re not sure how to tell someone one they have bad breath, send them some Bad Breath (porpheromomas gigivalis) in a Petri dish.
4. It makes people feel better – sick people will feel much better knowing what the disease that’s making them sick looks like. Coming face to face with influenza will make them feel less threatened and put their immune system into kick butt gear.
5. Good educational tool - teach those you love all about some nasty germ and let them play with it. They will always remember where e. coli comes from and what it can do you.

You may think this is insane, but once you have seen the brilliance of Giant Microbes® you too will come to love a good dose of venereal diseases and other such microbials. You can see the whole gang at the official GiantMicrobes® website.